To Sergey Bielecki

It is said that my name on your lips means a death has happened.
It is told that my name on your lips will be my death.
It is said that my body on yours means absolutely nothing,
It was told that your body will crush me.
It was said and it was done, that is the way you were taught.

If you could lay open to the world, the good cheek turned,
the pretty one with dimples, not scars or burns,
you could’ve been adored instead of known.

Instead, you laid open to the public, body on view
each scar and burn paraded, as if you were a trophy.

How long was it since your last confession, and
How many did you confess your sins to?

I hear impressions of your voice every night;
the Alaskan husky barking backed into corners,
the ghost fingers down that bloom on my spine,
the dandelion weeds in full growth uncared for,
the dusty chandelier adorned with crystals,
the green vine thorn bramble that sticks me,
and the staircase that could be slid down.

How long did it take for you to move away, and
How long were you waiting outside?

You are the parasite that feeds, and the doctor that stabs the needle,
You are the one that drops the urn, and the heart I sought.
You, the cold stain of truth on my cheek, and I,
the one who writes your story, no longer bare you any heart
as you are the stain of a lie on my left cheek.

Do you know the way each secret I have is
a crystal ball warping in the hands of lovers.

But they lie, Sergey Bielecki. They lie, Sergey Bielecki.
Sergey, they lie
Sergey, you lie
Sergey, who lies?

What is a liar, doesn't every lie stem from a wish, and
Who told the first lie, God or the snake?

Each name was once wished upon a vanilla cake,
and we wished with every birthday,
we wished on every name unholy.

The quitted birthday candles,
so that our names would be bright,
and I think my spine is melting.

What is a star but a reflection of the past and,
What good is your word, when the world has already decided?

Sergey Bielecki is a queer writer from Russia. An interview with Richard Siken appears in Polymnia, which he created and leads.The Porter-Phelps Museum has him researching Native American creative arts.